


Friday I'm in Love

by petrichor_petrichor



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Banter, ChanLix, Crack, Dark Comedy, Dark Humor, Falling In Love, Felix is a meanie, Fluff, Han writes fanfiction and I think that's necessary to mention in the tags, IT'S A SUMMER FIC, M/M, Mentions of Death, Summer, Summer Love, Terrible Jokes, Work In Progress, chan is a flirt, graveyard, mature - Freeform, maybe fluff hehe, should there be smut or shouldnt there be?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:21:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25226740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/petrichor_petrichor/pseuds/petrichor_petrichor
Summary: “You’re probably the first kid in history to have gotten their heart broken by a Magnum Almond.”Or; In which chanlix happens in the most strangest of places
Relationships: Bang Chan & Lee Felix, Bang Chan/Lee Felix
Comments: 9
Kudos: 42





	1. Almond

It was mid June and Felix should have been having the time of his life right now. It was mid June and the scorching summer sun didn’t spare a single soul or store, pressing through hissing doors that slid open for thirsty tourists and forced the rolling ice cream coolers to drop their temperature even more. Frost eagerly and generously coated ice cream wrappers and pints of Ben & Jerrys, burned cold to the touch of clammy fingers. It was mid June and Felix couldn’t hear the booming voice of the store owner yelling because he was letting the cold out, to “Hurry up and pick one already”, over the sound of The Cure singing about being in love on Fridays in his headphones. It was mid June and Felix was about 5 seconds away from getting his ass beaten up by a 45 year old slightly overweight store owner from Brisbane because he couldn’t see the names of the ice creams bars properly. The lead singer’s voice got rudely cut off and replaced with the ambient sound of the corner store as a big hairy hand tugged on Felix’s red beats until they were hanging around his neck. 

“Grab one, or get out.” The sentence is simple, straight to the point but just to make sure that he’s getting the message across, the owner snarled the words out as he pointed a chubby finger to the buffering sliding doors.

Felix’s hands clamped down on the edges of the rolling cooler one last time, for good measures and all that, and tried to not visibly wince when his left hand grabs onto the completely frost covered wrapper of an ice cream bar. He doesn’t break eye contact with the owner for whatever reason, may that be because he’s scared shitless or because he’s trying to do that alpha stare-down contest that Han’s mentioned in one of his shitty wolf fanfics, ones that Felix had the unfortunate luck to stumble upon because the terms used by his best friend were the same ones used by people to write about brain waves or the lovely greek alphabet. Han’s document had been nothing of the sort. God, he really needs to make new friends, ones that don't write fanfiction that tetters on the brink of being classified as beastiality, or ones that don’t go on for hours about how inspirational Beethoven's lyrics are. Though Felix technically hadn’t done anything bad per say, it still felt like he was doing a walk of shame as he solemnly dragged his feet along the linoleum flooring. Spilled soda and cherry slushies had turned it sticky and it squelched unhappily for every step that was being taken on it.

Now Felix isn’t the one to complain for just anything, to put it another way; he isn’t a Karen (mind you), but there’s only so much a person can have on their plate before it breaks into a thousand imaginary pieces of fine china. Being the “thicc ass but also thick skinned legend” as Han so kindly referred to him as, Felix was able to work seven hours in the dusty and more or less depressing graveyard every weekday without a complaint. This further resulted in him unwillingly sacrificing his mental sanity as the only people he could speak with during the days were the dead ones. In reality, these so called conversations with the dead was more like monologues really since the receivers often found themselves speechless because of what Felix would like to assume was a state of shock at his immense beauty and not because of the fact that most of them had been dead for more years than he’d been alive. With regards to his social life, the hours spent in the graveyard had more or less killed whatever tiny crumble of he social life he had before, although his boss didn’t like him making similes that included any mentions of death, partly because it was distasteful but mostly because saying his social life was as dead as Jack from Titanic was apparently an unwanted spoiler and now he had quote on quote “-ruined the entire movie experience” for him. So when Felix reached the graveyard again, having only looked over his shoulder about five times during his walk back from the store to make sure that the store owner wasn’t following him because he’d accidentally managed to get his hands on the last Magnum or something, he would like to think that the disappointment and devastation he felt when the frost melted away from the ice cream wrapper and displayed the ice cream name was justified. 

A quick glance at his timewatch revealed that he probably _would_ have the time to go and purchase a new ice cream or one of those vibrantly blue fizzy pop sodas to quench his thirst. Then there’s that voice in his head again that reminds him that his wallet is gaping more empty than certain body parts which Han describes in his lewd fanfiction and so Felix settled with telling himself that he doesn’t have the time ton guy buy something because that’s easier than admitting that the hundred dollars he’s got on his bank account isn’t worth bragging about because of the tiny detail that there is a very bold minus sign in front of the total sum. So now he’s left with two options; Either he throws away the ice cream or-

“You’re probably the first kid in history to have gotten their heart broken by a Magnum Almond.”

It would be an understatement to say that the voice caught Felix off guard, in fact for a second he could have swore that he felt two hands squeezing his heart as if trying to juice it and he was sure he’d have a heart attack and die and that the last thought he’d ever experience would be a shitty metaphor about orange juice. As the imaginary hands unclasped his heart and an equally imaginary voice thanks him for the heart juice, Felix blinked away the speckles of stars and dust dancing behind his eyelids and was presented with the VIP view of one of the most beautiful men he’s ever seen, which honestly doesn’t say much because the only men Felix is around are Han, Minho and, well that’s basically it. But still, despite the man being compared to his best friend who writes C- werewolf fanfics and spends his fridays probably picking cheeto dust from his bellybutton, the compliment wasn’t meant to be double edged at all. 

With one hand protecting his eyes from the sunlight, the other one still clutching the ice cream bar that was starting to melt, Felix was met with the sight of a very handsome man with a questionable fashion sense. Because really, no sane soul would decide to wear purple and orange together. Said man stood at about 17 New York style cheesecakes high, a measurement that had been introduced to Felix through Han and which he now couldn’t seem to stop using, and had bleached hair that was at least just as dead as Mr.Wilson was where his body laid buried under packed dirt and a heavy, grey tombstone. Now, since being nice to people you find beautiful is ridiculous and out of the question, Felix instead opted for being an asshole.

“Yeah well at least I’m not dressed up as fucking Willy Wonka. That outfit is terrible, I think it would look better buried six feet under dirt with a tombstone over it with a heading saying “Here lies my atrocious fashion sense”.

Only after the words had left his mouth, Felix realized that that may not have been the best thing to say to someone in a graveyard. Oh God. How insensitive could he be? He was about to end it right then and there but then, to Felix utter relief but also confusion, the man broke out into laughter. 

“Mind if I take a seat?” The stranger gestured with his hand to the empty seat on the bench Felix was sitting on. Squinting, Felix raised an eyebrow in question.

“I just belittled your fashion sense, or rather; lack of, and compared you to a psychotic child murderer and you still ask me, _moi_ -” Felix stopped for the dramatic effect and pointed at himself before continuing “-if we can sit together?”

“Well I don’t know about you but I took that as an invitation. I know that if I myself were to see someone standing alone by themselves in a graveyard, resembling the amazing chocolatier I would surely stop and have a talk with- Wait a second. What was it that you called Willy Wonka?” The stranger asked with bulging eyes. He was standing in a funny way as well, his back all hunched like the Hunchback of Notre Dame, hands buried in the front pockets of his purple corduroy pants and face scrunched up in disbelief after Felix’s latest comment. 

“A psychotic child murderer.” Felix made sure to puff out his chest this time but totally not because that was what Han used to describe the alphas in his fanfictions doing. He’d had this conversation with Han about four times before and since he’d let Han win last time he would make sure to stand up for his opinion this time around. Felix ignored the fact that what he was about to do was more or less the textbook example of displacement. 

“Wow, hold your horses. That’s quite some serious accusations you’re making there-” Sensing that the man wouldn’t sit down until he’d received some type of permission, Felix scooted to the very left of the bench and gave the seat beside him a quick and small pat, invisible to the eye of the kind of people who aren’t spectacular everyday observers. He received an equally quick and invisible smile of gratitude from the stranger who now stepped onto the bench and crouched down, chin cupped in palm. “-a penny for your thought, Mr. Detective?”

The man gave him a wink and Felix couldn’t stop a laugh from bubbling out. 

“I’d love to tell you about my Willy Wonka theories but I’m afraid that would take an entire lunch to get through-”

“So let’s go out for lunch then.” The stranger interrupted as he broke out into what Felix would classify as a hopeful grin. 

Getting interrupted was not often something Felix was particularly fond of but when this man did it, he couldn’t help but find it somewhat oddly endearing. Like that kid who’d stolen some orchids from Mrs. Guiver’s grave the other day, guilelessly ignorant to both how hard orchids were to grow and how they were even harder to even keep alive. In the same sense, it probably wasn’t the best idea to go for lunch with someone you barely even knew but if Felix hadn’t told off the kid who stole the flowers then he really couldn’t tell the stranger off for asking him out. Just as he was about to open his mouth and agree, the stranger’s face fell.

“Shit. I’m sorry. I forgot to ask if you have a girlfriend-” Felix’s expression morphed into one of slight disgust that the stranger mimicked “-or maybe a boyfriend?” He asked as he scratched the back of his neck nervously. 

Oh. Cute. The stranger was getting nervous around him because he thought he had a partner. Han would bust a lung laughing when he’d hear about this. 

“Heavens no. If I had a love life I sure as hell wouldn’t be lounging around in a graveyard.” Felix said as he jutted his chin at the horizon of tombstones and flowers that laid just a couple of feet before them. 

“So you’re telling me that the graveyard /isn’t/ your ideal place for a terrific first date?” The stranger said, the hint of a smile gracing his lips as he leaned his head against the hand by his left temple. 

“Not really, no.” 

“Well-” The man began as he shifted in his seat and stretched his arms up. “-I guess I’ll just have to take you on a second first date then. As simple as that.”

There was no way in hell this dude was being serious. A man that fine couldn’t possibly be single. There just /had/ to be a catch. Either he was already in a relationship and was trying to get Felix to join in on a threesome, it wouldn’t have been the first time Felix got that type of proposal, or he really was single and couldn’t get a boyfriend because he had a foot fetish or something.

“Do you have a boyfriend?” The stranger blinked at him and tilted his head slightly to the left. Felix suddenly felt the need to explain himself. “Uh you know like your better half? A Tim to your Tam? The murder to your psychotic ass?”

The stranger erupted in laughter again, throwing his head forward and shaking lifeless locks in front of his dark eyes. 

“I used to but not anymore.” He smiled at Felix and when he didn’t catch onto the way Felix was asking him to “go on” with his gaze , Felix had to open his mouth again.

“What happened?” 

At this, the stranger leaned forward. He didn’t stop closing the distance until Felix could feel his breath fan against his face when he began to speak.

“What do you think I’m wandering around in a graveyard for?” 


	2. Verse 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prepare for fluff (or don't)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains mentions of death, please don't read if that makes you uncomfy <3 Stay safe. Also this shit isn't beta read cuz it's like 2 am.

Felix turned over the words in his head. “What do you think I’m wandering around in a graveyard for?”, the man had asked. And then suddenly the lightbulb went off in Felix’s head. He was about to get murdered in this graveyard and the man would probably steal his ice cream while he was at it, just to really twist the knife. Felix felt for Julius Caesar when the dudebro got stabbed twenty three times, he really did, but at least he didn’t die knowing that someone would steal his Magnum Almond. 

The man broke out into a fit of laughter that started as just laughs but quickly escalated into tears brimming at his eyes. 

“Wow, you should have seen the look on your face”, The man tugged on the sleeves of his orange sweater and used the backside of his hands to wipe away his own tears “You look like you were scared to death! Don’t worry, my ex boyfriend isn’t dead. He just cheated on me. I’m here because my dog recently passed away.” 

After having had to endure inumerable long rants from his boss’s side about various types of “fuckers”, “idiots” and “stinking plebs” having buried equally as various types of animals in the graveyard without permission, Felix knew that dead animals weren’t nearly as welcomed as the living ones in the graveyard. Although something told him that the stranger too was very well aware of this illegal activity, if judging by the meaningful glance and dispassionate wave of the hand he sent Felix was anything to go by. Not that Felix had intended to snitch on the dude anyway, not after he had chosen not to muder him or even steal his Magnum. 

“I’m sorry to hear that” Felix said absentmindedly as he went up from the bench to throw away the ice cream wrapper in a nearby trash can. 

“It’s fine really.”

He could feel the man’s eyes on him even when he wasn’t even looking. Because of that reason, he also made sure to miss the trashcan at first just so he could bend down and pick up the wrapper again. 

“Oh. I mean I’m not sorry to hear that your dog passed away, I’m just sorry that it had to be buried here. I mean, this isn’t exactly the most beautiful of graveyards.” Felix sat down again and looked out over the graveyard.

Big tombstones and smaller tombstones, shifting in different nuances of grey. Even smaller rocks and stones, spread out in an undecipherable pattern that wasn’t intended to be figured out or make sense, where hamsters named Fluffy and cats named Snowball laid buried underneath. Graves that took several men and excavators to dig and graves dug by stressed fathers who had crying children at home with the help of a plastic spade. Squirrels skitted mindlessly between grandieu bouquets of baby breath and roses with cards expressing sorrow and love threatening to come undone and fly away with the summer breeze. Seagulls and goldfinches took turns on attacking lukewarm diner fries and spilled pepsi on the pavement. 

“What difference does it make when you’re dead?”

The question hung, thick and heavy and demanding answers, in the air. Felix scrunched his nose.

“It makes one hell of a difference I’d say.” At that, the man shifted on the bench until his back was pressed up against the armrest of the bench and his front was facing Felix’s right side. He pulled his legs up and let his chin rest on them as he gave Felix an affirmative nod to carry on. “I mean, just like you wouldn’t just sleep just anywhere and just like you’d want a nice bed, you’d probably want to peacefully rest in a nice graveyard and a nice coffin. Imagine how long you’re forced to be asleep when you’re dead. See if you get a bad coffin you’re going to whine about your back hurting all day long. That’s probably why some people think their dead relatives are haunting them. Excruciating back pain.”

“Oh so you’re one of those people.” The man said and hummed afterwards.

“What?” Felix snapped out of his haze and turned to look at the man.

“One of those people who think we just sleep for a very long time when we’re dead.” The man said as he waved around with his hand.

“Doesn’t everyone think that?” 

“No. Only the boring people.” At the sound of Felix scoffing, the man gave him a playful wink.

“And what do _you_ think Mr.Wonka then? I bet you have a nice recollection of stories and threats from all those kids you murdered in your chocolate factory with the help of those oompa loompas. Did they come back and haunt you? Told you how miserable the after live was? Go on then, do share your theory.” Felix said as he too shifted until he was facing the man, chin cupped in palm and legs crossed.

Even though they seemed to disagree with each other, from an outsider’s perspective both of the men didn’t seem to want the other to ever stop talking. In fact, from an outsider’s perspective, they looked like the bestest of friends. No passerby would be able to tell that they’ve only just met and already discussed legendary childhood movies and the assasination of roman dictators, topics not even the closest of friends discussed.

“I don’t _need_ to have a theory of my own to know that you’re wrong”, The man held up a finger as Felix’s eyebrows furrowed in disagreement “, me pointing out the flaws with your theory is just enough. First of all, time is relevant, it doesn’t even exist. How would we even know how long we would be sleeping for? A second? An hour? Second of all, I can barely fall asleep as a living human, what makes you think I could fall asleep as a dead one? Third of all, your ice cream is starting to melt and it’s going to make me start weeping.”

“Shit.”

Felix stared at his ice cream. As giving and informative as their discussion was, it hadn’t really provided any insight in how to cure his severe case of nut allergy. 

“Penny for your thoughts?”

This was going to be their thing, Felix decided. Copying each other’s catchphrases when they were 56 year old and living in a vila in Mallorca with two golden retrievers and a talkative cockatoo. All their mutual couple friends would be jealous, because even if they could play tennis with their barely intact backs and solve crosswords on Saturday mornings, they’d never be like Felix and this man, copying each other’s ways of speaking.

“I’m debating whether or not this ice cream is worth dying for. See I didn’t know what ice cream I was grabbing and it just so happens that if I eat any nut I’ll have to make a lovely stop at the ER” Felix kindly shared. “By the way, I forgot to ask, but why did your dog die.”

“Oh. That old fellow.” The man started as Felix raised the ice cream to sniff on it for reasons unknown to probably even himself. “My sister fed her some snickerdoodles cookies. Poor thing had a hidden nut allergy.”

Felix stopped dead in his tracks with his mouth gaping open as he stared at the man. 

“Fuck. I’m sorry dude. Uh. Do you maybe want my ice cream?” 

“If this was a movie,” Felix thought as he tried to remain calm and collected as the man’s fingers brushed over his own when the sweating ice cream got passed between them” if this was a movie the camera would zoom in on our fingers touching as he takes the ice cream from my hand and the cameraman would make sure to capture and show the exact moment when he realizes that I’m the one.” 

“Thank you. Cheers.” The man smiled at him as he raised the ice cream up as one would do when making a toast.

A comfortable silence followed que, with the man almost ravishing Felix’s Magnum and Felix trying his best to not stare at the man when he was eating. 

“Do I have any ice cream around my lips?” The man stared at him and jutted out his chin, puckered up his mouth.

“No.”

“Damn it. Was about to ask you to help me lick it up.” 

Felix's face caught fire right there and then. He scoffed and slapped the man’s knee but it only made the other laugh even harder.

After the man calmed down, he pulled something out from the back pocket of his purple trousers. It was a flask. Felix’s eyes widened as he watched the man chug it down.

“Wow there, hold on.” Felix said as he leaped forward on the bench and snatched the flask away from the man’s hand. The man’s eyebrows quirked upward. “I know you’re upset over your dog but I really don’t think this is the way to go.”

“What in the world are you talking about?”

“Like I’m just saying, ya know. Your feelings are very valid, that they are, but I do _not_ have the mental capacity to sit here and watch someone give themselves alcohol poisoning by vodka or drink away their problems and sorrows because of a dog. I am not in the right mindset to receive this kind of information right now” Felix put on his “I’m speaking with my five year old cousin who just pushed their sister down the stairs” tone.’

“It’s literally apple juice.” The man butted in.

“Sure, we can call it apple juice, pineapple juice, the fun fun liquid, whatever you want. Point being there’s so much to live for-”

“No,I mean it’s _literally apple juice_. I love Tropicana.”

“-And it’s totally normal for you to not trust me but I work here and alcohol isn’t allowed so if you don’t throw this away-”

Felix stopped rambling as soon as he noticed the man’s face was less than ten centimeters away from this. With his heart somersaulting uncontrollably and his chest beating as if King Kong was pounding on it, he wondered who would kiss the other first. Who would close the distance? Han wouldn’t believe it, Minho wouldn’t believe it either. Why wouldn’t they believe it? If Han could get a boyfriend whilst writing wattpad wolf fics, then Felix could surely get dicked down in a graveyard. Felix should be the one. Felix should be the one to close the gap between his own lips and the man’s juicy-

The man opened his mouth and exhaled. Loud and with open mouth. Felix didn’t understand. He didn’t understand why he was smelling the other’s breath. Not that he had a bad breath. In fact, the man’s breath smelled sweet, like sugar, something tangy and-

“What does my breath smell like to you?”

-and apples.

For a moment they just stared at each other. In his defence, Felix /was/ about to open his mouth when his default iphone ringtone went off. Being the psychic legend that he was, he already knew that it was his boss before even looking at the caller ID.

“Fuck. Fuck fuck shit.”

“What’s the matter?” The man asked with a worried expression on his face that would be cute if Felix wasn’t on the verge of pissing his pants. 

He was twenty minutes late for his shift and still thirsty as hell.

“My break is over. Well, more like my break was over a long time ago.” Felix said as his fingers danced away on his phone’s keyboard.

“Where do you work?”

“Uh. Here.”

“Oh, lovely!” Felix stopped to make a quick grimace at him. “I’ll make sure to stop by sometime.”

Felix couldn’t stop the unattractive snort.

“I’ll be sure to report you next time you chose to bury your dog here.”

“You don’t need to worry about that. Berry isn’t nearly as stupid as Mary.”

Felix paused again. 

“You have _another_ dog?” He asked but didn’t let the man answer the question. “Nevermind, no time for that. But when I’ll see you next time, I expect an explanation as to why you named your dogs after the legendary Mary Berry. Laterz, Willy.” He said and basically ran away after cringing at the fact that he had in fact said “laterz” to the hottest guy ever.

•❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅•

Mr.Owen wasn’t too happy with Felix when he arrived behind the church panting twenty five minutes after his shift had started. Luckily, Felix asking him about how his first time seeing Titanic went managed to put him in a better mood. 

“It was fantastic. Lovely cinematography, lovely acting. Though I will say that the ending was a bit predictable, even if you hadn’t spoiled it for me before.”

And then, with the rake lifted a few inches off the ground, Mr.Owen stopped.

“Not again. Damnit. How, just _how_ many times until people realize that this is a place where _humans_ rest in peace?

•❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅•

If there was one positive thing with Felix’s job at the graveyard, then it was the fact that it was moonlighting. It meant no taxes and the money he earned went directly from hand to hand, all in cash. So when Felix’s work was over for the day, he made a point to return to the graveyard once again.

Mr.Guiver was delighted, but surprised, when he the next day found that the orchid he had planted on his wife’s grave had magically switched colours from pink to now purple. The Bang family, however, were even more surprised than old Mr.Guiver when they found a green orchid standing tall by the rock that with choppy, pastel chalked letters spelled out the name “Mary”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wowowo look at that Chanlix flirting away yet still not knowing each other's names. I really wanted to try and focus on their characters and chemistry, hence the overload of dialouge. I hope it wasn't too boring or short eeek I really wanted to updated this . Comments, kudos and bookmarks are v v appreciated. Thankm you for reading and have a good night. <3

**Author's Note:**

> Wow I haven't posted here in forever but I've missed this site and STAYs so fucking much. Comments or kudos are v v appreciated. Please STAY safe and have a nice day/evening/life <3


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